“If I could define enlightenment briefly, I would say it is ‘the quiet acceptance of what is.’” ~ Wayne Dyer.
Acceptance can be challenging. It requires dropping expectations and accepting reality. It may involve letting go of something we’ve held onto dearly. We can spend our lives rehashing “could have been,” “should have been,” or accept that we are here now as it is, whether it is a place we want to be, or not.
The suffering of grasping
Like Buddha, enlightened beings understand that by not accepting what is, we create suffering, the suffering of grasping at what may not exist. The human mind is programmed to seek safety, pleasure, and stability. We avoid the uncomfortable. Clinging to the pleasurable and avoiding the not-so-enjoyable creates stress. It moves us into fear, fear of losing the good, and fear of enduring the not-so-good. But we can’t control everything. We can only control our reactions.
Nothing is permanent; trying to prevent change is like clawing at the air. Change is a part of life. We have day and night, the seasons, and we grow older. We can’t stop things from changing. Acceptance understands that nothing stays the same, and there are no guarantees.
Acceptance is not giving up
Acceptance may feel like admitting defeat. But it doesn’t mean giving up. Instead, it means we stop trying to fool ourselves about the present moment’s reality, allowing our minds to assess the truth of the situation without the blinders of illusion. It frees us to choose, not react. It frees us from the bondage of clinging to what we perceive will bring us happiness and running from the discomfort of change.
Letting go of “the shoulds” and accepting the moment’s reality allows us to act skillfully. We let go of fearful emotions. Instead of reacting with that emotional charge, we can take a step back and assess our actions. We act as needed. Then we accept again, letting go of expectations.
Yoga gives us a chance to practice acceptance
We come onto the mat and have a choice. We can practice from our head, believing our ego’s “shoulds,” or let go of expectation and practice from awareness. Focus on the breath, allowing it to flow without holding it to get into or stay in a pose. Notice the sensation in the body. What do you feel, and where do you sense it as you move through your practice? Does the feeling mean you need to shift or create something different than you believe your practice should be?
Acceptance is being in the moment, fully open to what it presents, whether it is the moment we planned for or not. When we let go of expectations, we see things as they are, not with longing for the past or fear of the future, but just as they are.
In the quiet moment of acceptance, we can allow ourselves full awareness of the moment with love and gratitude. We may even find an unexpected treasure there.
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